my face drips with the opalescent shimmer
of backhanded compliments and
convenience - leather jacket windbreakers
and loud engine sex.
i craved you when you were a man,
with hard and dirt-stained boots
and calloused hands;
soft eyes that looked like the world.
you collapsed into me and i was safe and
separate and i was an ocean of swimming things
and underwater butterflies that arrested my
soul and looked a lot like you do when
your eyes roll up and i can see your scars.
but even the rocks get worn down and
biting lips becomes a dangerous game of
who would fold first and it always seemed
to be me and i'm sorry that
i wasn't okay either but i already had
enough weighing me
down.